Thoughts, prayers, and positive energy needed!

Well, it's been a while since I have posted, and I thought maybe I should take some time to update everyone on our crazy lives!

Little Buddy and Baby Girl are still with us. It has been 7 months. At this point, it looks like we will be able to adopt them. We have a hearing on March 7. This is when the judge will decide to terminate reunification services or give the birth parents more time to complete the required steps to get the kids back. DCFS will be recommending that reunification services be terminated. The judge has the final say, regardless of any recommendations given. If the judge terminates services, the parents are able to relinquish their rights or they can appeal the decision and then it will go to trial. If the parents relinquish their rights, we would be able to finalize an adoption in the next month or so. If the appeal, we have no idea when we would be able to finalize, we have to wait for the legal process to play out.

Here's where we need help. We need lots of thoughts, prayers, and positive energy coming our way. We are hopeful that everything will go our way, quickly. We, mainly the kids, need to be able to move on. It is so hard and confusing for them to go to visits with their birth family.

We will be having a family fast on Sunday, March 3rd. If anyone would like to join us in that, we would defiantly appreciate it. Many people have told us that we are in their prayers and we are so grateful to be able to surround ourselves with such amazing people. We love you all. Thank you for all the support through our adoption journey. We would not have able to get through it without all the support!

Craziness

So, I had a long post all typed up and it has become lost. Good times!

Here is an update on our lives.  On July 20, 2012, Ryker and I were having a seemly normal summer day.  Not much had been planned or needed to get done, we were just hanging out, taking life as it came.  That afternoon, I received a call from DCFS, saying they had a sibling group that needed placement.  They thought that they would be able to find a kinship (family) placement, but wanted a foster family ready as a backup. I said yes, thinking that the kids would go to a family member.  About 30 minutes later, I was called by the case worker, and was told that they would need to place the kids with us and that DCFS would call us to know when and where we were to meet them.  I called Travis and he hurried home.  We soon got the call and drop Ryker off with the neighbor and then nervously drove across town.
Due to the situation, we met up at the hospital, where Baby Girl was being treated.  We arrived just as the birthparent was being told that the kids were being removed.  We were ushered into a corner, where we could not be seen.  The birthparent was soon escorted from the hospital and then we were able to step into the room and meet Baby Girl and Little Buddy.  I snuggled Baby Girl in my arms and she soon fell asleep. Travis spent some time with Little Buddy while I was given instruction from the hospital staff on the care that Baby Girl would need.
We were discharged after being there for a couple of hours and were soon on our way home.  When we arrived, Travis ran to Walmart to get some things for the kids.  Little Buddy only had the clothes on his back and Baby Girl had a couple of diapers the hospital sent with us and a hospital gown that they put her in to get her home.
Ryker soon came home and met the kids for the first time.  He was very excited to have a new brother and sister.  For the most part, he really enjoys being the big brother, but I know that sometimes it is very difficult to have to share Mom and Dad.
So, how is life with 3 little ones? Crazy, is the best way to describe it.  I feel like I am constantly running.  There is never a dull moment.  And yes, I am still working full time.  I am exhausted, but it is so worth it.  My favorite part of the day is when I get to go pick up the kids.  It's crazy how much I miss them, even though we've only been apart a few hours.  We hopeful that this will be my last year teaching and I will be able to come home, but well see.
As far as whether or not we will get to adopt the kids, we have no idea.  It is still pretty early in the case, but we hope to know more in the coming months.  We would like nothing more then to make these kiddos a permanent part of our forever family.
In other news, Ryker started kindergarten this fall.  He is loving it.  He is in a full day kindergarten class and is doing extremely well.  He love learning and it has been so fun to see him excel.  When I picked him up on the first day, I asked what his favorite part was.  He replied with a big smile and wide eyes, "Everything!"  I was really concerned about his behavior, but his teacher has said that he is doing well, only needing the occasional reminder.

Well, life is good! Thank you all for the countless prayers for us and our little family.  We will defiantly need them in the coming months!

Summertime!

We're 4 weeks into summer break!  It has been an adjustment to go from working mom to full-time mom.  At first I didn't know what to do to fill our time, but amazingly enough, we've figured it out.  We have done free lunch in the park a couple of times, gone to a couple splash pads, gone swimming, saw a movie, and spent time at home.  I've tried to establish a routine for us, which we're able to follow most days. 

The beginning of June, Ryker had a doctors appointment with Primary Children's Behavior Outpatient Office.  It was recommended by the geneticist that diagnosed him with Russell Silver Syndrome that we have him evaluated by a psychologist.  He spent a whole afternoon with the doctor completing several types of evaluations.  We went back 2 weeks later to get the results.  He was diagnosed with ADHD.  We were then referred back to Ryker's pediatrician to discuss medication.  We started him on medication a week ago and it has been hard.  His sleep patterns have changed (he was up until 3am the first night) and his behavior has not improved like we hoped.  I spoke with the pediatrician yesterday and we're going to try a new medication starting tomorrow.  I've talked with other parents of children with ADHD, and I am hopeful that we will be able to find the right balance of medication to help him. 

In other news, we are still waiting for another placement.  I meet with our RFC (Resource Family Consultant; basically a case worker that works with the foster families), and she said that she is always looking for potential placements for us.  She also said that she has submitted our home study for a placement and is waiting to hear back.  So, we could have another little one soon or not for a while.  That's how it goes with foster care.  It does make life exciting; every day could be the day that a new little one comes into your life.  Until then, it's life as usual.

Moving on...

I have been wanting to post something for a while, but I haven't been sure where to start.  I have had so many emotions the past month or so and I am still trying to process everything.  As many of you know, Baby Boy went back to his mom at the end of March.  It seemed so easy in theory.  We knew that he wasn't going to be with us for very long, we knew that he was going back eventually.  With that knowledge, it should have been easy to give him back.  It truly was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I cannot express the pain and sorrow that I felt and often still feel.  Most of the time I am okay, but every once and a while the undeniable aching in my heart creeps up out of nowhere and takes me for a loop.  There is not a day that passes that I don't think about him.  I think that the hardest thing has been the uncertainty of his future.  I am continuely praying for him and his mom.  His mom has told us that we are welcome to come and see him when we would like, but I don't think I can do that.  It would be too hard.  Maybe that sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but for now, I know that my heart can't take it.  I hope, for him, that she is able to get her life in order.  I am also hopeful that someday our paths with cross again.  We are now trying to create our new "normal" without Baby Boy.  Even though it was so difficult to give him back, I do not for a minute regret our decision to take him into our home.  It's like that saying, "its better to love and lost, then to never love at all." 

We have been put back on the active list for Foster Parents, and are eagerly awaiting a new placement.  Ryker prays every night for brothers and sisters.  We are wanting a child younger than Ryker, preferrably under 3.  I would really like a girl, but we will take either.  We'll just have to see what happens.

It is amazing how quickly our lives can change.  Tomorrow, May 3rd, marks the one year anniversary of Ryker moving to our home.  This past year has gone so quickly.  I'm excited to see what this next year will bring. 

I guess overall, I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven that is mindful of us and our needs.  Although it often doesn't make sense, I know that one day it will.  Through everything, I have gained a stronger testimony of the Atonement.  I know that my Savior knows me; He knows my pains and sorrows.  It is a testament of my favorite scripture...
 
"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

Mosiah 24:14

I know that there have been countless prayers on our behalf and we truly appreciate them.  Love you all!

So many changes...

Here is our life at the present time:

Ryker is officially ours.  We finalized our adoption on February 21, 2012.  We had him sealed to us in the Salt Lake Temple on February 25.  It was a crazy week!  We are so blessed to have him in our lives forever!  One thing that the sealer said really has stuck in my mind...

 "The sealing power is stronger than DNA."

It is so true.  There is nothing else on this earth that can tie families together for time and all eternity

Thank you to all of you that helped make our special days so awesome!

We are loving being this little man's mom and dad!

In other news, Baby Boy is still with us, for the time being.  We have been told for weeks to be preparing for him to leave.  We never knew if it might finally be the week that he leaves us.  Well, we were told yesterday, that THIS is the week.  He will be going to live with his mom on Saturday.  I have so many mixed emotions.  I'm so sad to be loosing him, but I am so happy for his mom that she will, if she continues to do well, have the opportunity to raise this sweet little boy.  I am grateful that Ryker had the time with his little brother.  It has been an awesome experience to have this little one in our home.  I have learned so much from him.  There won't be a day that goes by that I don't think of him and hope that he is doing well.  I read a quote a couple weeks ago that I feel is applicable:

"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." 

Now on to the next adventure!

Finally

Well, our big day is almost here.  We will be finalizing our adoption of Little Man on Tuesday, February 21!  We are so excited.  It has been a long journey.  Little Man is so excited.  We will be taking him to the temple to be sealed to us on Saturday, February 25.  He has told us that he will not call us mom and dad until we are "married" in the temple.  We have decided to give him a new first name and have his current first name be his middle name.  He says that he will go by his new first name after the temple, but we'll see.  It's his choice.  I can't believe how much I love this little boy.  I am so happy to have him in my life.  He brings so much happiness and joy to our home.  He is a major mama's boy and I love it!

"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him."

1 Samuel 1:27

In other news, Baby Boy is still with us.  We are still unsure of how long he will be with us.  He is the easiest baby.  He is so content and happy the majority of the time.  It is so much fun to have him in our home.  We want nothing more than to keep him, but only time will tell what will happen.  We are just going to love him while we have him.

As a side note, we have chosen to discontinue persuing adoption through LDS Family Services.  We have been with them for 3 years and the outcome has not been favorable.  They also charge a $300 home study fee once a year to maintain our file and we felt that we could be paying that fee until the end of time.  Our case worker was wonderful, but we just didn't think that we should continue to persue that option.  This doesn't mean that we are not interested in infant adoption, so please continue to refer us to potential birth mothers.

Thank you for all the prayers in our behalf!

Our life...updated!

So here's the update that I know you've been waiting for...


Little Man's birth mom decided to fight the judge's discussion.  So, we have to wait until January 17th for a hearing/trial.  In the end, the judge has the final say and it's not likely that he will be changing him mind anything soon.  We should be able to finalize our adoption end of January/first of February. 

We have had a crazy couple of weeks.  We have been trying to get ready for Christmas.  It is so different/exciting when there's a 5 year old around.  It really reminds you of the magic of Christmas.  So on top of getting ready for Christmas, we got a phone call on December 13 at 4:00 pm from Little Man's case worker.  We learned that his half brother was being removed and they were looking for a placement for him, and they try to keep siblings together, so we were the first call.  Of course we said yes and he was brought to our house at 6:30 that evening.  Talk about a whirlwind!  At this point, it is a temporary placement.  We would love to keep him, but it is not likely.  I'm sad for Little Man that he will not be able to be be raised with his biological siblings, but I am grateful that he has this time to spend with Baby Boy. 


It is so crazy having a little one around.  We are exhausted, but it is so awesome.  When I rock him to sleep in the middle of the night, I can't help but think about how happy I am.  It is crazy to think that this time last year, a family was a Christmas wish that seemed so out of reach.  But here we are today, with two little ones in our care.  Be it temporary or permanent, we are blessed by the sweet spirits that have come into our home. 

I can't help but think about one of my favorite quotes about adoption:
"I have slept with a baby on my chest.  I've kissed boo boos and mended broken hearts.  I have been puked on, peed on, and spent sleepless nights in the rocking chair.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I did not carry this child in my body, but when I look in the mirror, I see a MOM, and there is no greater honor or blessing!!"

I am finally mom...

Thank you all for your countless prayers and thoughts on our behalf.  We are so blessed to have such an amazing support network around us.  We have the best friends and family.  We love you all!

The big day

The big day is almost here.  We are so nervous and want to see everything come to an end and finally be able to finalize Little Man's adoption.  We have a gut feeling that his birth mom is going to try to appeal the judge's decision.  Also, Little Man's case worker has said some things that have lead us to believe that we are right.  Please pray for us this week.  But, more importantly, pray for Little Man and his birth mom.  We are hoping that her heart will be softened and that we will be able to move forward with our lives.

Our Little Man

So, here's the update...
    The judge has ruled that Little Man's birth mom will lose her rights and he will be able to be adopted.  We are so excited, but we still have to wait and see what happens next.  On November 10, we have court.  Birth mom can give up her rights or appeal the judges decision; if that were to happen, there would be a trial.  It would just drag things out longer and the outcome would most likely be the same.  Now were just waiting, as usual...I guess we should be really good at that by now. 

Please keep us in your prayers, especially on November 10.

I took some Fall pictures of Little Man.  I can't wait until the adoption is final so that we can finally share his face with the world.



I have never seen or read anything that described our journey so well. 

I hope that by watching this, you can briefly experience our trial...

Follow this link: Tears and Hope

Craziness

It has been a crazy couple of months.  Little man is still living with us and we are still in love.  It has been so interesting learning to parent a four year old.  I've never had a newborn, but it seems like there is a little margin for error, but with a four year old, you got to have your stuff together.  You have to be consistent...you can't be wishy-washy because he'll see right through it.  Four year olds like to test and push all of your button.  He wants to make sure that you are 100% positive that you're in this for the long haul.  No matter how naughty he gets, he wants to make sure that you're not going to send him back. 

We have gotten attached and I think that the feeling is mutual.  A few weeks ago, my sister was watching him while I was out of town.  She was telling her son to do some thing.  This is the conversion that followed.

Little man: "Why did you tell him to do that?" 
Marlee "Because I'm his mom." 
My brother-in-law:"Like how Travis and Megan are your mom and dad." 
Little man: "I like my dad." 
My sister: "What is your dad's name?"
Little man: "Travis, you know Travis, right?"

When she told me this story, I seriously thought I was going to cry right there in the middle of Winco.  I don't know what we'll do if we don't get to adopt him.  We'll cross that bridge when/if we get there.  It just amazes me that such a little guy can affect you so much.  I will never be the same. 

Please continue to pray for us that everything will work out.

Love you all!

Happy news...

Last Monday, we received a call about a little 4 year old boy.  They said that he has some special needs, but felt that he would do well in our home.  I was so scared and nervous, but said that I would talk to Travis about it.  I was thinking that we probably would not take him, but Travis felt very strongly that we at least go meet him.  So, we went to meet him on April 27.  We arrived at the shelter where he was living and told them that we were there to meet this little guy.  We signed in and then they went to get him.  Our hearts were pounding and our stomaches were in knots.  The door opened and in walked the most adorable little guy.  Blond hair, big blue eyes, long eye lashes.  He hid behind the ladies legs and they led us to a room so that we could interact with him.  He was very anxious and nervous and tried to run away within the first 5 minutes.  They suggested that we go outside, because he may do better.  We played with him on the playground for about 30 minutes.  We told the therapist that we needed to talk about everything and would let them know what we decided.  As we were driving home, we both knew that he needed to be in our lives.  We then started seeing him everyday after that; taking him to dinner, day visits to our house, and eventually, an over-night visit that turned into him not leaving.  He has been with us for a week and we are loving it.  It is amazing how some one so little can impact your life so much.  For right now, we don't know if we will be able to adopt him, we're hopeful, but we do know that he is suppose to be with us-even if it is for just a short time.

Disappointing...

Some of you know that Travis and I were being considered to foster/adopt two little girls.  Well, they selected another family.  So, now we wait, again.  We are hopeful that parenthood is just around the corner.

In other news, we had a yard sale this past weekend, and turns out, we ROCKED it.  We raised just under $1600, and I got a sweet sunburn on my neck, ears, and face.  Not too shabby for a couple days work!  Thank you to everyone who came out and supported us.  We love you all and are so gratefully to be surrounded by such amazing friends and family!

Yard Sale

We're doing another

Adoption Benefit Yard Sale  

Friday, April 22
Saturday April 23

starting at 9ish and going to about 3ish on both days. 

Let me know if you have anything that you would like to donate. 

It will be held at 3063 S. Hadwen Drive (6580 W.) 

Please stop by and see what you can't live without! 

On Friday, my aunt will be there to personalized fleece blankets. 
On Friday and Saturday, my sister will be there to do Feather Hair Extentions.

We will also have goodies for sale. 

Thanks for all your support!



Are we there yet?

Hopefully soon! 

So, as of last Thursday, we are on the active foster family list.  That means, that we could get a call any day and our lives could change forever.  I hope that we don't have to wait too long, but I guess we have no other choice. 

Life has been...well, interesting lately.  Nothing major has happened, I just feel like I am in a weird place.  I don't know how to describe; I just feel off.  I am finding thing that have never challenged me in the past becoming difficult for me.  I almost feel like something great is in the works and Satan is doing everything in his power to break me.  I am trying to be more diligent at the things that I am suppose to be doing, i.e. studying the scriptures, praying, temple attendance, etc. 

 He will not break me!

We are still an active adoptive family through LDS Family Services.  We haven't heard much from them.  I think that fewer birth mothers are placing their babies with adoptive families.  It has become so excepted by the world for a young girl to parent her child.  I could not imagine being a young, single mom.  It would be so difficult.  Through our adoptive training classes, we have learned that a young woman who decides to parent their child is less likely to finish high school or any higher education and less likely to marry.  I'm not trying to make it seem like the decision is an easy one, and I could never imagine placing my baby with another family.  I guess, in the end, the decision needs to be what is best for the baby.  I would hope that any young girl who is in this situation remembers to get on her knees and ask for her Father in Heaven to guide her to make the right decision.

Please remember us if you hear of any
situations that may lead to adoption. 

We are really eager to build our eternal family.

Thanks for the love and support!

Finally...

We are officially lisenced foster care parents.  Now, we get to wait.  Nothing new to us.


Travis' grandfather passed away on Thursday, March 17, 2011.  He was a sweet man and he will be missed.  My first memory of Grandpa Great was a week or so after Travis and I started dating.  We were in the kitchen making a treat to take to a party and Grandpa Great came in and Travis introduced us.  Grandpa Great said "Welcome to the family!"  Travis just about died, but I thought it was sweet.  I am so blessed for the few short years that I got to know him.  He was an amazing man!

Almost there...

We just found out that we'll be doing our home study and safety inspection for foster care on Thursday!  We're so excited...almost there.  I was hoping that the process would go a lot faster than it has, but oh well, we're getting there. 

We don't know if anything is going to become of doing the foster care, but at least we have opened the door.  When we met with our LDS Family Services case worker last month, she said that she felt that if you open as many doors as possible, Heavenly Father will see your willingness, and you will be blessed.  I believe it too.  I know that the Lord has an awesome plan for us, and one day, we'll be able to understand it.

I am planning on doing another Adoption Yard Sale sometime this spring...Hopefully, late March-early April.  Our last one was such a success (thanks to KP), and I hope that this one does just as well.  If you have anything that you would like to donate, let me know and I'll be around to collect items the week before the sale.

There is nothing else new in our life right now.  We're just plugging away, taking it a day at a time.

Thanks again for all the love and support that we have felt from all those around us.

No excuses...really

I'm really not good at this...why can't I ever find time to update this more often?

So, here's what has been going on in our lives the past 2 months:

Travis graduated!!!  He earned his associates through SLCC is past December.  Next step, transfer to the University of Utah to study business.  Hopefully he will be able to start in the Fall.  I'm as so proud of him.  He really had a difficult time, mainly with his math classes, but he kept pushing like a champ! 

I got a new calling.  I am the Miamaid Advisor.  I absolutely LOVE it.  The girls are amazing and the leaders are the best!  I am having a blast and am so grateful to be serving in our ward.  It has been fun to get to know the girls and the other women that I am serving with.  They are an amazing group of women and I am so privileged to serve with them.

Other news, we finished our Foster Care Pre-service Training Classes.  We did 2 classes a week for 4 weeks for 4 hours each night.  It was a crazy/busy time, but so amazing.  I didn't think that I would enjoy the classes, but they were awesome.  I learned so much.  Some nights were really overwhelming, particularly when we were talking about abuse and other hard topics, but we are still cautiously optimistic that this is a door we need to open.  We just have a few more things to do and then we will be licensed.  Hopefully everything will be done in 3-4 weeks.  We are so excited for this next step in our lives.

We have a new member of the family.  My sister had an adorable baby boy on December 13th.  I got to spend some time with her other kiddo while she was in the hospital with baby.  It was a lot of fun to be with Quinton for a few days.  It is so fun to have Dominic part of the family!

Finally, we had a wonderful holiday season.  It was awesome to spend time with family and just be.  I got 2 weeks off work, which was really nice and needed!  We are so blessed to be close to both of our families and get to spend so much time with them. 

Thanks again for all the thought and prayers on our behalf!

We love you all!

Really???

What the heck is my problem?  Why do I always wait so long to update? 

So, here's what is going on in our lives.  Travis is well into his last semester at Salt Lake Community College.  He will be graduating in December with his associates in general studies.  We are hoping that he will be excepted into the University of Utah's business program.  Hopefully, he will be able to start that sooner, rather than later.  He is taking 4 classes this semester and seems to be doing okay.  I am so proud of him.  I can't imagine going back to school after taking a huge break like he did. 

As for me, this school year is under way.  It has been an emotional roller coaster.  I have had many ups and downs throughout the past 9-10 weeks.  Sometimes I really struggle with my job.  It takes a huge emotional toll on someone.  I adore my students.  They are amazing and make everything worth it in the end.  I guess I just struggle with all the other stuff...the politics, the paperwork, blah, blah, blah.  Good thing I've got great little kiddos that make me smile! 

As I posted last, one of my friends hosted an Adoption Benefit Yard Sale for Travis and me.  I am so grateful to have such amazing people in my life.  We had many people donate some great stuff and many people that attended the yard sale and purchase things, or just donate money to us.  We made close to $1000.00!  Crazy!  It is defiantly nice to add that to our adoption fund. 

As far as adoption goes, we're still just waiting.  As far as we know, there has been no activity on our profile.  Our case worker says that people are looking, but just not selecting us.  So, we have been looking at some alternative options.  Since we don't have $25,000.00, our options are somewhat limited.  We have been talking about doing the foster/adopt program through the states Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS).  After much discussion, thought, and prayer, we have decided to go forward with becoming lisenced to have foster children come into our home.  We will start taking classes in December.  We have to take 8 classes over the course of 4 weeks.  It will be a sacrific to attend all 32 hours of training, but we are hopeful that we will have the desired outcome.  It will most likely take some time to have a placement, just because we are interested in the 0-5 years old range, which is the most requested, and because we both work.  We are hoping that the right child is out there for us.  We have even talked about taking sibling groups.  This way we could get 2-3 kiddos at the same time.  Please keep us in your prayers as we venture through this new step!  Love you all!

Benefit Yard Sale...

Hey Friends,
One of my friends is hosting a Adoption Benefit Yard Sale for Travis and me!  Here's the info:

Where: Balmoral Community grassy area (about 5800 west and 2800 south)
When: Friday, October 15, 8:00am to 2:00 pm & Saturday, October 16, 8:00 am to 11:00 am.

Please come and purchase some gently loved items and support our adoption. 

Thanks so much for all the love!